Selfish Silver Linings
by Cassia Lotus
Summary: The bittersweet musings of Zero, months after Yuuki left Cross Academy with Kaname...


**Hi! I'm Cassia Lotus and this is my first foray into any sort of fanfiction. I would greatly appreciate any reviews and constructive criticism you have to offer. Thank you!**

**This story is a Zero centered one-shot, which takes place several months after the end of the Vampire Knight anime. Unfortunately, although I LOVE the anime and know what happens in the original manga, I have not actually been able to read the manga yet, but I hope to soon! **

**Disclaimer: Although I do recognize that disclaimers hold very little actual legal precedence, it would feel odd not to add one. So, the following is a fan-written piece based upon the series Vampire Knight, which is a work of Matsuri Hino, which I make no claim to own or profit from. **

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**Selfish Silver Linings **

Zero hadn't seen her in months. He knew Headmaster Cross was still in contact with her, somehow. It was pretty hard _not _to hear when Kaien Cross answered the phone and began blubbering with joy and crooning to his baby girl, his daughter, his…_Yuuki-chan. _

But Yuuki wasn't Yuuki anymore. He could still hear her cold voice through his door, still feel her fangs pierce his neck…Zero shivered and rolled onto his side. He remembered her gentle hands…her kind voice…her innocent brown eyes. Zero imagined her face then, and winced in horror when the angelic image morphed into red eyed, long haired, fang bearing Pureblood vampire.

Zero's lilac eye roved over his empty dorm. He had been mulling over leaving Cross Academy for a long time; make an effort to escape his past and the haunting images of _his _Yuuki plaguing his already broken mind. He forced himself off of his bed and threw on his blazer, idly touching the white armband he wore. He was still a Guardian at this academy—and right now, that meant it was time to tame the Day Class mob he could already hear congregating outside of the Night Class dorms.

That's what she would've wanted him to do; keep serving this academy. Zero smiled softly, sadly, and recalled the last conversation he had heard between Headmaster Cross and Yuuki…

_ "__My Yuuki!" Kaien cooed from the kitchen, while Zero froze on the stairs, cursing his sensitive hearing, which gave him the power to listen to both sides of the conversation in the room below him. "How are you my darling?"_

_Yuuki's voice answered, somewhat crackling through the receiver. "I'm fine, Headmaster—"_

_ "__Otou-san!" Kaien cried, blubbering with sobs. "It's Otou-san!"_

_ "__Sorry, Otou-san." Yuuki said, and Zero allowed himself a nostalgic grin. "I was just checking up on you. I don't know when I'll be able to talk again; Kaname suggested I should call you and tell you that."_

_Zero grew stiff at that name. Kuran Kaname. The Pureblood vampire who was Yuuki's…well he didn't quite know what exactly. She had called him her brother, and yet before she has turned into one of _his _kind, she was obviously in love with him. He remembered learning in his Hunter training that some Pureblood families practiced inter-marriage to keep their dynasty pure._

_Nevertheless, it had been Kaname who Yuuki followed away from the Academy. And that, above all else, was the reason Zero hated him the most._

_Zero focused on the conversation again, which had gone on during his reverie. "…wish you could visit." Kaien was saying._

_ "__I know." Yuuki sighed, causing some fuzz across the phone line. "Kaname thinks we'll have a chance to next winter, but I haven't talked to him about it much. He's been so busy dealing with the Council. They're still upset about…well about what happened at the academy."_

_Kaien was the one to sigh this time, growing serious. "I bet they are." _

_There was a heavy pause over the phone. "Otou-san, I have to leave. We have guests."_

_ "__Of course." Kaien replied and a small part of Zero's heart clenched in pain, knowing that this would be the last time he heard her voice for a long time._

_No. This was not the Yuuki he loved. That Yuuki died on that snowy night, in Kuran Kamane's arms. This was merely a Pureblood Princess with the voice of Yuuki. And her face and eyes and hair and—_

_ "__Yuuki?" Kaien went on to say. "May I just ask you onoe more thing?"_

_ "__Yes?" _

_Another pause, this time coming from Kaien's end._

_ "__Otou-san?"_

_ "__Are you…happy my daughter?" Kaien asked, his voice solemn, shaking a little. _

_ "__Hai, Otou-san." Yuuki replied. "When I'm with Kaname…I am happy." _

_Zero didn't wait to listen to the end of this conversation. He'd had enough and turn quickly back up the stairs, deciding to skip whatever meal Kaien had been preparing._

Zero thought about Yuuki's answer as he walked towards the Night Class dorms. If Yuuki really was happy, than wasn't losing her worth it? After all that he'd done, he knew he didn't deserve her love. He felt like he had failed her—even though she had been born a vampire, when he knew her she was human. Zero let her become the one thing he never wanted her to be—a vampire.

But could there possibly be a silver lining to her fate? If she was happy, being a Pureblood and being with Kaname, then could he live with it? He wanted to be able too—he wanted to be able to be happy for her, to not be selfish, to let her go from his heart.

But Zero couldn't do that. He was selfish and mad and unlovable. Unlovable. And the only person, who made Zero feel like any of that was untrue was…Cross Yuuki.

Now she was Kuran Yuuki. Someone different and cold and as much as it made Zero feel childish…that meant he was unloved once again.

So _optimistic_, his mind muttered.

The Night Class dorms came into view and he sigh and resigned himself to—for now—ignoring his haunting memories of Yuuki, and continuing his duties at the academy.

He took a deep breath and strode strongly toward the wild throng of students crowding around the Night Class dorms.

"Hey!" He yelled. "It's passed Day Class curfew!" _  
_


End file.
